My New Year’s resolution is to try and “be” with my husband a little bit more this year. If you know. You know.
It is certainly not easy – he works very long hours as a Principal and well I just work all the time. He will often put in a full day at work and then straight back on the laptop when dinner is over [and that is because his work ethic is second to none]. And I see him on his laptop, and I reckon, “happy days – he won’t mind if I just jump straight onto the laptop too”, and so we’re just hanging out on the sofa, laptopin it out together and sure that isn’t exactly the right thing – is it?
When he’s not working he is good at switching off and relaxing with Netflix on or out on the golf course because that’s how he unwinds. When I started Digital Twenty Four I decided I was just going to stop watching TV because a) no time and b) what’s the point of watching pointless crap. But that isn’t exactly ideal either because I just work. All. The. Time. Weekends – work. Holidays – work. Up on the dentist’s chair – work. You get the gist.
And so I decided 2019 – gonna be my year to really try to do the whole netflix’in with him. So this year – I have turned it around! I have done the “quality time” netflix’in thing. But – me, deep down a soft soul. And so – movie choice is light and non-violent and can’t require my brain power. Because simply I don’t ‘get’ story lines. And we end up arguing because I ask questions. And am usually a scene behind when I catch up with what has been happening. And well – movies and story lines – they stay in my head and my heart for days post-view. Anyone relate?
So last week we decided on ‘The Intern’ with Anne Hathaway and Robert De Niro. Have you watched it? EEK.
Flip me – female/male workaholics – DO> NOT> WATCH> THIS> MOVIE.
It friggin destroyed me. So unbelievably relatable. All about this woman who began a start-up that took off. It was doing great and well took over her life. Long hours – yup. Buzzing – yup. Driven – yup. “Nothin going to stop me now” attitude – yup. Yup. Yup. Yup.
And so the hubby decided the kids needed parenting and left his job to be a stay at home parent. She worked so hard, didn’t listen to him when he tried to fill her in on his day and ultimately felt so ignored by her that he ended up having an affair. {Stepping in here to say – my hubby hasn’t ever had an affair but – you know the whole ignored by her – so relatable}.
Heart-stoppingly real.
So Anne Hathaway continued to be a workaholic – running a large company {my lil company is only tiny but still large to me}, managing staff, juggling clients, managing stock issues, dealing with business partnership {totally exploring this at the moment} etc. etc. etc, and so by the evening? She would arrive back at the house and there was nothing left in her. Zero energy. Just someone who needed to switch off. Not listen to another voice. Silence. Golden. She would doze off mid-sentence. She never asked him how his day was. She was exhausted, head fried, trying to still think about important work stuff and all the important business things that she forgot the important things in life.
Sheer relatability – I actually was embarrassed watching it with my husband *of almost 10 years*. Embarrassed. Because I was thinking is he thinking what I am thinking and does he think I am thinking … and so I was totally just sitt’in there over-thinking the whole thing. He was probably just watching the movie – thinking nothing at all.
And – it all just got too much that a few tears trickled down my face. Especially the point when she accepted that she totally deserved to be in the situation and that he was right to have cheated on her because she wasn’t ever *present*.
Elephant in the room. Is this movie about me / about us {without the cheating}.
It was confronting and life changing. I could relate – like she was just trying to run a business and make a go of it and trying to be everything to everyone. Me. Me. Me.
A hard wallop in the face “this could be you”.
Last night though? … we watched ‘Overboard’. Light. Gentle. More my style.
2019? It is going to be the year of us. Prioritising me and him. So – if you don’t hear from me on Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook or email at night or on the weekends. It’s cos I am being *present* with my hubby. I don’t ever want him to feel ignored. The D24 team? Growing, and perfectly capable {in fact, more capable than me most times} of helping to run our little agency. And as for me … need to chill every now and then. And well – that is just how it is.
Sorry, not sorry.
